wandering in wonder

sharing, on a pilgrims journey

‘I am what I am’!

Today a ‘helpful’ friend who’s staying a while decided that being helpful meant picking up my precious piles of paper and ‘bits’ and wouldn’t stop despite polite entreaties.

I ‘have a system’ and rarely lose things. Why oh why should someone who visits my home feel the need or feel they have the right to insist on moving my things around, even throwing things away. (I will now have to go through bin bags – oh what fun.)

I felt mean and horrible when I had to ask for the third time ‘please stop, I won’t be able to find things if you move them around’. She meant so well and so intended to be so helpful.

No doubt I have character flaws, and perhaps needing to have my stuff left alone – even if it does look untidy – is one of them. I also procrastinate – I don’t enjoy the untidy bits, but I just don’t get around to clearing it up sometimes – other things, like friends and work, are much more important to me so that’s where my energy goes. I don’t share the house, so it doesn’t inconvenience anyone else if my stuff is in a pile somewhere.

Maybe someone else would have been delighted. I really, really wasn’t.

I may be alone in this thought, but seriously – being tidy does not have any moral high ground! It doesn’t actually make someone a ‘better’ person! This may sound obvious, but if you’re naturally tidy, have a think about it.

If you’re a tidiness freak, here’s a little message for ya!  – the untidy people in your life may be quite happy and not at all inferior for being untidy. It’s fine if you’re tidy – go for it, enjoy it, alphabetise your CD’s and iron your socks – enjoy! But we’re not all the same. I have so many other flaws to work on that really – being untidy is the least of my worres and trust me, when it comes to the end of the line, my big regrets in life aren’t going to be ‘I wish I did more housework’, or ‘I wish I’d been tidier’ !

I’ve stopped apologising now. I’ve realised it’s time to ‘come out of the closet’ (as it were) – I’m untidy and at least in my own home, that’s just how it is – I am what I am!

June 18, 2008 - Posted by | 'Being', acceptance, balance, Life, People | , , , , ,


  1. there’s method in your messy-ness!


    Comment by simon | June 19, 2008 | Reply

  2. indeed there is! *

    Comment by Joy | June 22, 2008 | Reply

  3. I could have written this post! I’ve had friends try to help by picking up all my piles, and it has taken me weeks to find things again. I know where everything is — and I, too, would have a tidier house if I didn’t have so much involvement with friends and such outside my house, but I do, and people always win over tidying up.

    One thing I read that helps me explain my piles to friends might be of comfort to you. There are actually two types of people, when it comes to organization. There are the internally organized — they can live in chaos but still know where everything is — and there are the externally organized — they must have tidiness or they can’t function. We are simply internally organized. Neither is superior to the other, they’re just different.

    But it is comforting to know that there are others who have made the “life over tidiness” choice.

    Comment by waltzingaustralia | June 28, 2008 | Reply

  4. hey, I like that – internal and external organisation!
    thanks! :0)

    Comment by wanderinginwonder | June 28, 2008 | Reply

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